Oh where to begin. I am not going to tell anyone how to parent. It’s none of my business how any person chooses to raise their own kids. Daily I question if what I am doing is the right thing, is my sisters way of parenting a better way? Is my friends way better? Are her kids better than mine? Will my kids turn out as good as my neighbors kids if I do everything she does? It all feels like trial and error and what works for one won’t necessarily work another. As parents we all need to make informed decisions based on good and trustworthy information. Whether you find me trustworthy is up to you, but I am sharing good information with you right now.
There are different schools of thought on letting your kids have a little privacy. Like phone calls are personal and private. Is texting? Are the conversations your kids have with their friends private? What if those conversations are happening on Social Media? As a parent, do you have any idea where your kids hang out on line? Depending on the age of your child, you can bet they are or will be on Facebook very soon. Are you on Facebook? Do you know how to use Facebook? Are you friends with your kids on Facebook? (I recommend knowing the password) Here are a few things you need to know:
- Your kids WILL set up a Facebook account with or without your help, and they may even get a friend to show them how. Worse yet, their friends mom may show them without your knowledge or permission. This may also include setting up their own email account. Just one more way for the world to access your child without your knowledge.
- There are privacy settings on Facebook that can prevent the entire world from being able to see everything your kids say, every picture they post, and most certainly where they live and go to school. You need to get on Facebook – no if’s and’s or but’s.
- There is an age restriction for adult content on Facebook. Your kids and their friends will lie in order to open an account that is fully accessible. It’s that simple. Which again is why it is really important to know how to set the privacy settings.
- They will eventually be ‘friends’ with every person who asks them. It is a badge of honor for them to have 1,000 friends even if they have never met in person. It’s all about the popularity contest and being in the know and in the now.
- They will click on and open every link that their friends have opened. It’s human nature to be curious. There are viruses, SPAM, and scams on Facebook just like everywhere else. Facebook did not create them, but someone has figured out how to use Facebook to spread them.
- Kids get bullied on line, on Facebook, on Social Media. Get involved so you are not the last to know.
- If advertisers can figure out what your kids habits are on line (even on Facebook) in order to target their ads, don’t you think you should know what your kids habits are on line too?
I am not telling you all of this in order to scare you, I am telling you all of this in order to inform you. Times have changed and you need to change as well. The way our kids learn is different than the way we learned even ten years ago. They are looking things up on line, not in books. They are faster and smarter, sooner than we were. Social Media is the new information highway and it brings information to you so that you do not have to go looking for it. Don’t be scared. Knowledge is wisdom and power, and it will cast out your fear.
Now for the happy, feel good news that will make your life easier. Facebook is a great place for you as a parent, as a relative, as a friend to stay connected, and it keeps you up to date on the news of the world. Word spreads faster on Facebook than it does in the News (depending on how often you check your Facebook). I know what you are thinking…”I don’t want my ex’s, frenemies, or people I don’t like to friend me on Facebook”. There is a setting for that! You do not have to be friends with anyone you do not want to. Here are things you can do on Facebook that you may find helpful:
- You can share pictures and albums with your family members that you do not see very often. No the whole world will not see them, only those you choose will see them.
- Sometimes you have family members that ramble on and on, even on Facebook. Without unfriending them, you can change your settings so that you do not get the updates they send every hour filling your newsfeed, where they are, what they are doing now, what they just ate. Instead you can just check on them when you want to.
- You can subscribe to fan pages of your favorite businesses and you will get notified of upcoming sales and events.
- Most schools have Facebook pages as well, so you can be informed of dates to remember, school closures, events, report cards, etc. Sometimes those notes get lost on the way home!
- There are ways to talk privately on Facebook so that ALL YOUR FRIENDS can’t see what you are saying. It is called messaging. It’s more personal, but still Facebook.
- You can easily plan things with all of your friends at once, without all having to be in the same room. Make an event and invite your friends!
- You can look at everyone elses photos too
- You can recommend things to your friends and family, and they can recommend them to you.
- You can play games. I don’t. But you can.
- It reminds you of the upcoming birthdays of your friends on Facebook.
If you are still scared of Facebook, then ask a friend to help you. Even if your kids are not on Facebook, or you have no kids, it is the new photo album, family reunion, address book that you cannot ignore forever. You can try though. When my husband and kids and I went to China a couple years ago, it was a great way to share the places we’d been. Of course I had to set our 65 year old parents up on Facebook first. I also have a cousin in Japan, another one (who knows where) that I rarely see, but at least I am caught up in time for the next wedding!
Oh and by the way…it is a great tool for grandparents to stay in touch with their long distance and short distance grandchildren.
{If there is anything I missed, let me know in the comments. Maybe I’ll do another post about it.}
